School Actually Starts...Among Other Things

Over the past 2.5 weeks here in Brisbane, I have had the luxury of not having to worry too much about my classes and the work associated with them...until tonight. While my experience on Sunday was amazing, and really opened up my heart to what I feel God may be leading me towards, I am constantly tormented by the fact that, I do in fact, miss home and everything it has to offer: I miss being at school with my friends whom I know and trust, I miss being around my family and their support, and I miss my dog being excited whenever I come home. While I knew all of this going in, I never dreamed that I would feel this way. I mean here I was on Monday, February 8 just wanting to leave and get to this great country that is 7,000 miles from the coast of California and approximately 10,000 miles from Ohio, and now, on March 17, I am wondering if this was the right decision for me. While I have made some great friends, their lifestyles are totally different than what I am used to and it is taking some getting used to. I mean I go to a school where it is impossible to walk to class without seeing at least 3 people you are really good friends with, and now I can spend the whole day on campus and not see a single person that I know or have even seen before. Also, the whole school system is totally different than what I am comfortable with. It feels so much more "hardcore" because each class is only one day a week, making you think that your schedule is going to be a piece of cake when in actuality things tend to jump up on you because each class is only one day a week so you have something due almost every time you show up. The entire system is set up to make us fail it feels like. And the libraries! Let's not even mention those: back home you can go to a library at 6:00 after dinner and stay there until midnight or later...here, they all close promptly at 8:00pm leaving you no place to go and concentrate. I personally do my best work during the 8-12 stretch so this obviously puts a hamper on my study routine. And the fact that there are 6 other people living in my apartment make working at home that much harder as well. As I am writing this, I have a 3 page essay due tomorrow which at this point I do not even know what the darned thing is about...all I know is it could be one of three questions posted this morning, so we have to essentially prepare for three papers which is total crap. This is not even the last of it: you have to write it in-class during a period of an hour and a half. Granted, while I have had to write many papers for my classes at ONU, at least I know what the topics are and am given ample time to do them. This, coupled with the fact that I already miss home and dwell on that fact quite a bit, does little to boost my esteem at these present times. While I am reading my Bible and praying that God places his hands upon me to help me get through this unscathed, I feel as though I am swimming through these troubled waters alone. Also, the fact that there is no TV or any sort of entertainment here is nerve-racking as well. I don't want to sound like a TV junkie by saying that, but with only so much to keep the mind occupied, I find myself thinking more and more about home and flying...I know those are two things that do not commonly go together but airplanes fly outside our building all day and night and it is just awesome to sit out here and watch them overhead. It is fun to get out and work out or play Ultimate Frisbee or whatever, but it seems everyone else constantly has class when I am free and then when I'm in class is when everyone else is free so its hard to plan a time to get together to play. The one thing that has lifted my spirits recently is the possibility that I may get to go home through Germany, which would give me the opportunity to see Philipp in his home country and see part of Europe as well...the only downfall being I will not be refunded my ticket home and would have to buy a new one home on my own. I am also rather looking forward to my spring break trip to NZ. I arrive approx 2 days before the rest of the group so I will have some time on my own to explore Christchurch, which is the "Garden City" and comparable to the US's Seattle. I am excited to be on my own in a different country in a different place. I am looking back on this now and have realized that it is mostly the ramblings of maybe a raging lunatic but that may be what I am these days...ok maybe not but it sounded good right? All I can do is put my head down, set my back straight, and (hopefully) put my mind on what needs to be done, and hopefully away from how great home is and onto how great a place this is and that I just need to relax and enjoy my time here while I still have it. God bless us all.